Page 34 - Powerful Feminine Qualities

everything. I know you are not experienced.” He spoke this in public, in front of everyone, without any shame. She
said, “OK, thank you, Sir! We will arrange the marriage next week. You come back the same time next week, and we
will get married.” Everyone was shocked. She was so young and he was old, very shameful and rude. Yet, she said
‘yes’. Although initially her attendants were dismayed, they soon realized that their Queen was a wise woman who
would not do anything without the advice of her spiritual mentors.
The old man was happy, he said, “OK my dear, I hope you realize how much I anticipate our wedding day. It will be the
most joyful day of my life.” He left to prepare himself for the wedding day. He purchased new clothes, dyed his hair,
manicured his nails, and purchased a gold ring and a gold necklace for the queen. He spent his money lavishly in
preparation for the wedding day.
The princess made arrangements for the wedding. She had her personal bed put in the assembly room where she met
visitors. It was decorated like an opulent, royal nuptial bed. The wedding day arrived. The old man entered the palace
with great expectation. He saw the Brahman priests and the fire pit for the consecration of the wedding ceremony.
However, he was shocked to see the Princess’s nuptial bed very prominently on display in the royal hall.
The queen addressed him with a smile, “I am very happy you are here. We can get married and consummate our
marriage.” He was not sure what she meant. He looked at the big bed conspicuously placed in the center of the hall
for everyone to see. He sheepishly glanced at the muscled soldiers and officious ministers malevolently staring at him.
He spoke in a muffled voice, “Oh my dear child, you do not understand these things. These things happen in a private
room.” However, she said, “You proposed marriage to me publicly, in front of all these people. Why should there be
privacy?” He felt a chill right down his spine, and he said, “Eh, eh, you do not understand.” “No, I understand perfectly,
we’ll consummate our marriage in front of everyone,” remonstrated the queen! The old man suddenly realized he
could not dare do such a thing publicly. He was shamed, walked out of the palace remorsefully, and never came back.
One needs privacy for lusty behavior. Although nowadays, some shameful people do things like that in public. To get
away with illicit behavior, one does want any witnesses. In the Vedic culture, the husband and wife live in separate
quarters in the same house especially after their children are born and have grown up. In Bengal, you have the
traditional family compound houses. There is the part of the house where all the women stay and another where the
men stay, even though they are married. Separation in proximity is recommended for peace of mind, which is needed
for practice of spiritual life. The residents of the house come together to worship the deity. Alternatively, they all go
together to the temple. In this way, there is a code of behavior by which men and women relate to each other in the
Vedic system without enflaming lust so that lust is transformed into love. When we follow the Vedic path of life, the
children are happy, and the parents are satisfied that their home is peaceful and spiritually enlivening. There are no
unwanted children, whose birth was not planned spiritually. However, regardless of the conditions of conception, the
Krishna consciousness parents take responsibility for raising their children in Krishna consciousness.

Indian girls in the USA have difficulty adjusting to separation from their families in India
Today many young professional Indian girls get married and move to the west with the husband to pursue a
professional career and raise a family. Quickly they realize that due to the pressures of professional life coupled by the
lack of family support in a foreign country, both husband and wife find it difficult to raise their children and work.
Without the presence of family elders, many of the traditional ritual performances of family life practiced in India
become watered down or neglected. The influence of the materialistic western society also affects the entire family
toward neglect of spiritual life. This further diminishes the determination to follow the path of traditional religious
practices that are more readily performed in India.
This can be the cause of a breakdown of relationship between husband and wife, due to the increase of kama (lust),
lobha (greed) and krodha (anger) from bad association. We have to think very deeply about this, especially in Krishna
consciousness. How can we get back to the proper understanding of the man-woman relationship in Krishna
consciousness, and create the context, at least in the home and the temple, where that relationship is supported?
Men and women together can rise above the debasing qualities of kama, lobha and krodha. The result will be an

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